Buffets

What do you do when you're dragged to a buffet with a group of friends and you're not hungry? Well today, I faced a similar situation and luckily, I can help you.

1. Survey the scene: so when you first get there, you want to survey the buffet; see what they have, appetizers, grills, desserts, etc. anything that looks like it's of value. Now today, I was at Makkolis and I know the place like the back of my hand, so I already know where the goods are. But if you're new, take a bit to check out the food (like at Todai, they make crepes and their sushis are real crab)

2. Sort and chronologize: If you're reading this, you can probably can really put food away, but you're not that hungry, and let's be honest, no one's going to wait for you after the fourth plate (fifth plate if you're on a date). So really know what order you want to go in and tackle the big stuff first. You can't go appetizer, meal, dessert, because
-thats weak
-takes too much time
-appetizers fill you up too early
so you can take something light to warm up (like shrimp or sushi), but if you're like me, tackle the real stuff: crab, seafood, etc.

3. Pile your plate one at a time and eat like a boss. I figure this works best unless the restaurant is closing (as was the case for me today), in which case you would want to do multiples at once and really work your chopsticks to pick two or three items at a time. This may take getting used to if you're new, and if you get cramps in your hand, it's best to reduce your amount. Make sure you stretch beforehand.

4. Drinks: order a refill (where it's free of course) once you're about 3/4 done with your first one. It's like starcraft where you construct a pylon at 9 so when you hit the maximum unit capacity another will be here. Don't go too elaborate on drinks - the more you drink the less you can eat real food.

5. Sushi: sushi is a bit tricky. See, the stuff inside is high value, and the rice outside is low value. You can eat them all together since sushis are generally high value (get the real shit, not california rolls or you lose mad money), but a connoisseur would really eat the inside and leave the rice and eating the fish eggs.

6. Max out on high value items. This is probably the most important aspect because if you eat out of order, you might burn out/have to leave and as a result, lose money. It's like sc when you screw up your build order - you probably will lose.  For those who don't know, here's a handy list of what's high and low value:

High:
-seafood. it almost always is high value (crabs, scallops, lobsters, fish)
-expensive desserts: this includes rare ice cream flavors, crepes, rare fruit, cakes
- most anything that comes from the grill (it requires tip so be careful). Usually well worth it though. Watch the time if you invest in something like this

Low:
-anything high in carbs, starch, complex sugars
- desserts that don't require effort: apples, oranges
- poorly prepared dishes for caucasians: fried rice, chicken and broccoli, etc
- american food in an asian buffet: pizzas, garlic bread, fried chicken, fries, etc

If a high value food turns cold, it immediately drops to medium value, in which you'd have to make a judgment and see if they'll come out with new ones or not.

7. Once you finish, summon the check. Now this part is tricky if you're asian: if you're among friends, you split. If you're with a long lost friend, you offer to pay twice, then back off insisting that you will buy him ice cream instead. If you're with a girlfriend, you total up the rough estimate of her meal and the rough estimate of yours. She will most definitely not eat her worth since she has not read this guide. So you subtract your consumption value from hers, and she would pay the difference.  That's why it is CRUCIAL to eat above the amount you paid to get in.

Just follow Jon's Guide to Maxing Out, and buffets will never be a problem for you again. No sweat.  (btw I was kidding about #7 for those people who cant appreciate that humor, always offer to pay)